Education: Kurt Cobain

It doesn't get more grunge or more rock and roll than Kurt Cobain. I can't say that I'm completely obsessed with Cobain, or Nirvana, but he fascinates me as an artist. His life and the story of getting everything people dream of and some would say wishing he never had it, is captivating. There is a passion in his lyrics that I'm drawn to. When an artist lays down real meaning and hidden agendas in their music, it makes it that much more entertaining.



Kurtis Donald Cobain is best known as the lead singer, primary songwriter, and guitarist of Nirvana. He was born in 1967 in Washington to a waitress and automotive mechanic. Claimed to be diagnosed with ADHD as a child, he was described as happy and excitable with an artistic side that was evident in his bedroom that resembled an art studio. His family background had both musical and artistic history, so it made sense.

Cobain's parents divorced when he was seven and happy and excitable turned into defiant and withdrawn. He explained, "I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that."

This broken home led to teenage rebellion and therapy after witnessing his mother in an abusive relationship following her marriage. Sole custody was granted to his father who couldn't handle the emotional rage of Cobain and placed him with a seriously religious family friend where he became a devout Christian and regularly attended church services. It was however, short lived, but continued to influence his music and art.

Cobain's high school experiences reveal a lot about his opinion on homosexuality. After befriending a gay student, he was constantly bullied for possibly being gay himself. He didn't seem to mind and shared in an interview that he liked having the identity of being gay because he did not like people and when people thought he was gay they left him alone. One of his personal journals contained these thoughts on the matter, "I am not gay, although I wish were just to piss off the homophobes." (We can't all be perfect.)

Cobain was in and out of his parents homes before living on his own around the age of twenty. He was working, attending rock concerts, and experiencing love. Notably, dating musician Tobi Vail. After meeting Vail, he vomited as a result of being completely overwhelmed by his infatuation with her, inspiring the lyric "love you so much it makes me sick" from "Aneurysm". This relationship had a lot of effect on his music. Vail even once spray painted "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit" on his apartment wall (referencing him using her deodorant) which inspired the song title, "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

The forming of Nirvana goes back to as early as high school for Cobain. The name Nirvana was taken from the Buddhist concept, which he described as "freedom from pain, suffering and the external world". The official year their first album was released was 1989, but the makings of the band (for which we all know) wouldn't be complete until 1991 and the album Nevermind. Nevermind put Nirvana in the mainstream, leading them to sell over 50 million albums (including Nevermind) worldwide. Nirvana became considered the "flagship band of Generation X" and Cobain was reluctantly anointed by the media as the generation's "spokesman". He struggled to balance the success of Nevermind and the bands underground roots. He often felt persecuted by the media, comparing himself to Frances Farmer (an American actress famous for her involuntary commitment to a mental hospital). He began to harbour resentments for people who claimed to be fans of the band yet refused to acknowledge, or misinterpreted, the band's social and political views. A vocal opponent of sexism, racism and homophobia, he was publicly proud that Nirvana had played at a gay rights benefit in Oregon and often received death threats for his stance on these issues and those of the pro-choice movement.

Famously, he was married to musician Courtney Love who gave birth to his only child. The two were officially together as early as 1991 famous for bonding over shared interests and drug use. His first experience with drugs was with marijuana at 13. He heavily used drugs in his adult life, observed by some as consuming "notable" amounts of LSD. He was "really into getting fucked up: drugs, acid, any kind of drugs". The justification of his use was often due to physical pain due to an undiagnosed stomach condition. It was never determined the cause of his pain, though doctors believed he was suffering from a rare form of cancer. His pain was emotionally debilitating to him and led to his heroin addiction that he said was a way to self medicate his pain. "It started with three days in a row of doing heroin and I don't have a stomach pain. That was such a relief."

Obviously, Cobain's drug use affected his lifestyle and career. He made an attempt at rehab in 1992 after learning he was going to become a father. But in 1993, he suffered an overdose of heroin while on tour never recieving medical attention. Instead, a panicked Love injected him with Narcan to bring him out of his unconciousness and he went on to perform the show. He fell asleep at photo shoots while high and in 1994 overdosed again on a combination of champagne and Rohypnol (which Love later stated was his first attempt at suicide). After being released from the hospital following that incident, it's claimed that he locked himself in a room with a gun. Love told the police however, that he locked himself in a room to get away from her and that she had never seen a gun.

In 1994 Cobain made his final attempt at rehabilitation. It was the night of March 30th while hospitalized in Los Angeles for his detox and treatment, that he went out to have a cigarette, climbed over a six-foot-high fence and escaped the hospital. He took a taxi to LAX and flew to Seattle where he was spotted on both April 2nd and 3rd despite his friends and family not knowing his whereabouts. Police became involved and rumors spread that Nirvana was breaking up. He wouldn't be seen until April 8, 1994 when his body was discovered at his Lake Washington home by an electrician. There was a note adressed to his imaginary childhood friend "Boddah" that stated he "hadn't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing...for too many years now". A high concentration of heroin and traces of diazepam (or Valium) were found in his body. The coroner's report estimated that he had died on April 5th and his body had been lying there for several days.

Cobain's artistic endeavors and struggles with heroin addiction, illness and depression, as well as the circumstances of his death have become a frequent topic of fascination, debate, and controversy. He is remembered as one of the most iconic rock musicians in the history of alternative music. It's a tragic story, but a story about a musician who used his life to influence his career. A career that brought him success, which some would say led to his demise. I think it's important to learn the story and understand things like "Smells Like Teen Spirit", in order to appreciate his contribution. Cobain is viewed by many as "the last real rock star" but he was just a guy with an incredible gift.